It wasn’t until I was asked to send blessings to my enemies that I realized forgiveness wasn't enough for my healing process.
I thought that I had moved on in love and light, we like to believe that. However, the rage that bubbled up when asked to do that was met with all sorts of excuses about why I shouldn’t, they are evil, the things they did to me were full of deceit and abuse and intent. Why would I ever send blessings?!!!
Then God answered my rage and excuses; and the answer was brutal. He said that all the qualities I see in their behavior are qualities I posses. He was not talking about hating things about others that I hate about myself. He was not talking about insecurity or the ego at all. He was telling me these are all parts of my shadow self. These are energies I possess. These are manifestations I created.
For so long I thought I brought these dark entities into my life from a place of fear. I knew that The Beast lived inside me however I thought I was my addiction to my fear that let him thrive. Throughout all of my healing so far I had not realized that I’m fact what I was really afraid of was my shadow self.
Forgiveness does not address this entirely. Forgiveness still allows you to believe that what you are forgiving lives outside of you unless you are directly forgiving your own choices. It is still an action of healing the past.
Sending blessings to your enemies is an action rooted in the present moment as well as the future. Sending blessings to your enemies is an act of self love. You are finally making the decision to love all that is evil about who you are.
I understand this may bring up some tortured emotions as it did in me when I first received the information. I wanted to fight and scream and turn my back on the gift I had been given. I could not because as much as I wanted to ignore it; it was the truth and I knew it